Random Ramblings

Feed Me video: Mara's Homemade

2012-01-17T10:16:00.000-08:00

Cayenne, creole, crawfish ... you can get it all here on Long Island. No, you don't have to traipse off to the Big Easy to get your hands on some good ole gumbo or spicy jambalaya. Just head on over to the bayou, er ... Jericho Turnpike in Syosset, where there's a Mardi Gras party every day at Mara's Homemade. It's the place that gives customers that down-home New Orleans experience, beads included.

Host Meredith Daniels meets owner Mara Levi and learns how the chef makes the most famous dish on the menu, crawfish cheesecake.

Videojournalists: Chris Ware and Meredith Daniels

Mara's Homemade is at 236 W. Jericho Tpke., in the Muttontown Plaza shopping center, Syosset; 516-682-9200.

January 4th

2012-01-04T19:40:00.000-08:00

1.4.12 - Canon

f/22 ISO 800 35mm 1/8

Daisy is my 5-year-old pug. She is often the [unwilling] model for my photography practice. Today we spent the day working with different types of flash while dinner was cooking in the oven.

Here's to many more moments captured during this 365 project...

Feed me video: Deli on Rye

2012-01-04T11:57:00.001-08:00

There's nothing like a great kosher deli on Long Island. Newsday's Meredith Daniels visits Deli on Rye in Albertson, one of Newsday's top places to get a great corned beef sandwich. Newsday also named Deli on Rye one of the top Cheap Eats restaurants.

What's the secret of its famous like-grandma-used-to-make chicken soup? Watch below, as Daniels hops over the counter to find out.

Videojournalists: Mario Gonzalez and Meredith Daniels

"I often order the entire holiday dinner here so then I don't have to do any work and that way everything is delicious!" says customer Paula Groothuis.

The modest-looking spot is located at 1008 Willis Ave. in Alberston. Want a preview before you check it out? Click here to flip through our photos.

Where will the Feed Me video crew visit next? Check back Nov. 23, when Meredith Daniels and crew visit Chat Noir in Rockville Centre.

If you can't get enough of Feed Me videos until then, watch past episodes by clicking here.

Feed Me video: Miraku

2012-01-04T11:55:00.000-08:00

To open a Japanese restaurant in Great Neck, where there are enough old sushi spots to deplete the new Fulton Fish Market, requires a combination of fearlessness and finesse. Miraku has both. The proprietors also own a fish wholesaler that specializes in high-end Asian varieties. That means that Miraku’s sushi bar has access to some fish rarely seen on Long Island.

Inside Miraku, the Feed Me crew discovers a master head sushi chef and a modern Japanese-style tavern.

Videojournalsts: Chris Ware and Meredith Daniels

The site features a streamlined, bright stone-and-tile showcase, with a glittery backdrop for the illuminated sushi bar, striking lantern-style lighting and carved-wood booth dividers.

Miraku is at 31 S. Middle Neck Rd., Great Neck, 516-466-6369.

Feed Me video: La Casa Latina

2012-01-04T11:51:00.000-08:00

Named one of Newsday's Top 11 Cheap Eats of 2011, La Casa Latina is a modern twist on lively Latin dishes. Both executive chef-owner Roberto Herrera (also head chef at Bryant & Cooper Steakhouse in Roslyn) and chef de cuisine Wilfredo Cardoza hail from El Salvador. Their culinary expertise crosses many borders, though. The menu has been carefully chosen to offer authentic cuisine from El Salvador, Honduras, Colombia, Argentina and Peru. Food brought to tables on wheeled carts adds charm to this simple storefront in Westbury.

The Feed Me crew stops by on a busy night to talk to customers about their south-of-the-border experience and takes a look inside the kitchen, getting a few tips on how to create some of the signature dishes.

Videojournalists: Jessica Rotkiewicz and Meredith Daniels

La Casa Latina is at 611 Old Country Rd., Westbury; 516-280-7795

2012 Challenge

2012-01-04T11:48:00.000-08:00

I was caught off guard this week when someone asked me a simple question.

"What's your resolution for this year?"

Hmmmm...well, to be honest, I haven't really thought about it.

I think we're all a work in progress. We grow everyday. Who's to say we only have to make adjustments starting in January?

To make a completely hypocritical statement to the above mentioned, I will say this...in 2012 I want to start taking more photos. Capturing memories. Experiencing life one snapshot at a time. I got a new Canon EOS Rebel T3i DSLR for Christmas. Perfect timing.

I read a blog post about a 365 (technically 366 this year!) day photo challenge. It's simple. Take at least one photo a day and share it [iPhone pics count!]. Not only does it capture those little moments in your life that we can sit here in 363 days from now and look back upon, but it helps you experiment and grow as a photographer.

Photography was my first love. In eighth grade when we had to come up with a career and "live off" the "income" (monopoly money), I chose photography. Specifically, a family photographer at Walmart. I dreamt big, I know. But that's all I knew as a naive Midwestern girl.

In high school, it was the same thing. During home economics class, I again, chose to be a photographer...but this time it was products. I wanted to take pictures of bed sets for magazines. Through my research, I learned how little these "starving artists" make. That's probably why in my first year of college I majored in psychology...but took photography classes.

My love affair continued when I made my final switch to a new college and graduated with a major in radio and television broadcasting. Not quite the photographer I had dreamed of...but, close enough.

This year, however, I want to get back to my roots. I want to take the 365 day photo challenge. I love taking photos and I live reminiscing. It's a match made in heaven!

I realize that I'm already three days behind. However, I just so happened to have taken a picture each of those three days! So consider this three blog posts in one. From now on, everyday I will post a picture and a little blurb about it.

Here are the three past days:

1.1.12 - iPhone

Ian and I rang in the new year [and our first wedding anniversary!] in Times Square to watch the ball drop. It was 40 degrees out...one of the warmest in years. We had so much fun and met so many great people that night. This night will be one I will always remember.

1.2.12 - iPhone

To start the new year off, I started a new book. I began "The Hunger Games" series. I finished it in two days. Amazing book.

1.3.12 - iPhone

I guess you could call it an anniversary gift to each other. Ian and I got a new sectional and curtains for our living room. It dramatically changed the look of the room. Miss Daisy [our 5 year old pug] seems to particularly enjoy the chaise lounge. I concur, Daisy...I concur.

Feed Me video: Left Coast Kitchen

2011-08-31T10:59:00.000-07:00

Looking for gourmet comfort food? Merrick has just the place for you. Owner and chef Chris Randell describes Left Coast Kitchen and Cocktails, his six-month-old establishment as"a gastro-pub or a high-end neighborhood-comfort-food place."

The menu has something the whole family can enjoy during the day. Then, at night, with more than 40 different types of wines and beers, the eatery turns into a hopping saloon. "It's great for drinks. I love coming here for happy hour!" Stephanie Stern from Merrick confirms.

The comfort food ranges from cheeseburgers to steak. Host Meredith Daniels eagerly jumps into the kitchen with Randell to see how his famous prime dry-aged New York strip steak with surf and turf succotash is made. Watch him work his magic.

Videojournalist: Meredith Daniels and Mario Gonzalez

Located on 1810 Merrick Road, this "Brooklyn-esque" watering hole-slash-restaurant is great for those in the Merrick area who want to go out for dinner, but doesn't want to travel to Rockville Centre or Huntington.

Orange ya glad I didn't borrow your handbag?

2011-07-29T14:23:00.001-07:00

Ever have one of those cleaning moods? Today when I got home from work, I transformed into the Energizer bunny fully-equipped with cleaning supplies. I was reminded of an expensive lip gloss that I had previously worn, but haphazardly lost through the daily grind of life.

The lip gloss Gods happened to be smiling upon me today. Because the location of this lip gloss randomly popped into my head as I was minding my own business battling with dust bunnies. Instantly, my internal GPS system clicked on, causing my feet to abruptly start heading for my closet.

Two newly discovered skirts and a hoodie later, I came across the handbag which has been the distant home of this infamous lip gloss that I've been longing for all these months. The anticipation builds as I open up the purse and start to rummage through all of the contents I carelessly left behind.

That is when I discovered this...

That would be a 4 month old orange hanging out in the midst of the rest of the misfit coupons and beauty products left in this knapsack of mine.

Surprisingly, it didn't smell at all. It was a bit brown around the edges and very soft/squishy. The fruit was quickly transported to the nearest trash can as a squeal of disgust was echoing throughout my apartment.

How could I just sling an old handbag to the back of my closet without considering if there were any fruit runaways hitching a ride as well? Good question. I'm still trying to figure that out while I anxiously sort through my other bags, hunting for unconsumed produce.

Back to the search, I go...

The Great Gatsby-kidding me!

2011-07-26T15:27:00.001-07:00

Today is the day. After finally living in my new area for, going on 8 months now, I decided it was time to get a library card. Mistake.

After stubornly driving around the street a couple times, refusing to use my GPS, I finally found the building. Walking in, I had no idea that I was about to endure the longest six minutes of my life.

“Hi! I would like to apply for a library card, please,” I pleasantly requested.

-STARE-

“I’m going to need to see some identification,” the librarian insisted, “….and I’ll need some parental consent.”

I abruptly stopped while in the search for my wallet.

“I’m sorry, what?” There is no way I heard her correctly.

“You are not allowed to be issued a library card without parental consent while under the age of 18.”

I stood there. Trying to process what was happening. I have envelopes stacked upon each other, sitting on my kitchen table right now that are begging to be opened and promptly paid. My feet are sore from the pumps that I’ve been wearing all day at work. I still need to go home and feed my dog and take her on a walk. These are all things that I consider to make me an adult. However, this woman is telling me that I look like a child….

“I’m sorry, how old are you?” Her questioning, abruptly ripped me out of my inner battle of confusion.

“I’m…I’m… 25.” Wrong. I’m actually 26. I keep forgetting this. However, this plan to come in and get a library card without any problems has thrown me off my game. I don’t even know what’s going on anymore.

“Oh, goodness! I’m so sorry. You just look SO young,” She awkwardly, takes my two forms of identification, “That’s a compliment, ya know. You’ll enjoy that one day.”

She sends me on my way to forage through the aisles and aisles of books. Books that contained words scribbled from some of our greatest scholars, columinists, and other wordsmiths throughout history. And what do I grab?

Yup. The straight-to-DVD “why do they even bother making these” visual novel, ‘The Last Song.’ It has two of my guilty pleasures: my girl crush Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana [Don’t judge.], AND the cinematic adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks book. Two for one?! You can’t pass that up.

As I’m walking back to the reference desk, I realize I’m completely feeding into this lady’s intrepretation of her first impression of me. Yikes. I might as well put my hair in pigtails and skip the rest of the way up to the desk with my lolipop and check out this Hannah…I mean, Miley Cyrus movie.

Each step seems to be happening in slow motion. I creep closer and closer to the counter.

“Quick, grab something intelligent, but most importantly, mature!” I think to myself.

I look around me and I see nothing but audio books. Hmmm….that isn’t going to solve anything. Aha! I’ll look for the book, “The Help.” That’s a great adult fiction book. Wait…I already bought that book for my iBooks collection! How can I mention it to her casually, to let her know that I am deserving of my age group?

Before I know it, I’m back at her desk. Empty handed, except for my PG-13 movie staring a former Disney actress. I look directly at her hands, refusing to make eye contact, and mumble something about checking out. I can feel the smirk on her face burning a hole through my now tightly closed eyes.

“This is so embarrassing,” I think to myself.

She mentions something about the due date. I don’t know…it was all muffled at this point. It was hard to get any sounds through the thick cloud of complex mortification that surrounded me.

I quickly snatched the case off the table, lodged it in my handbag, and slinked out the front door.

This always happens to me. Moderately challenging errands somehow turn into some kind of awkward situation. This is my life. Welcome. Grab a seat and enjoy the show…

Happy Birthday, Ian

2011-04-04T05:31:00.000-07:00

Today is my husband’s 28th birthday so I thought I would dedicate this post to him. He is such an amazing person, I don’t even know where to start. He is the kind of husband who cleans the house on his day off and gets up with Miss Daisy [our pug] early in the morning for her morning jog even when he could sleep in. He is an incredibly hard worker. His biggest concern is working hard to supply for his family and pay off the debt that I brought into our marriage. Aside from all this he is a great friend. He listens without judging and usuallyknows the right thing to say. He gives me the freedom to be who I am and allows me to make mistakes without making me feel bad or saying “I told you so”. He is also probably the nicest, most genuine person I know. He would do anything for you, and never complain once, no matter how tired he was. He is hands down the best husband I have ever met. He is energetic and has fun in any situation. He lives and breathes the Lord, which is such an inspiration to all of those around him. I know with my whole heart that everything he does is for us. I am 100% positive that he thinks of his family before every decision that he makes, calculating how it will affect us. He loves his family and friends more than anything. When I met him he was the answer to my prayers. I know God has an amazing plan for our lives...we're a force when we're together. I am so blessed to have him in my life and am honored to call him my husband and the future father of my children. Happy Birthday, baby!! I love you sooo much.

He put a ring on it!

2010-11-18T08:19:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010 was just like any other day. I woke up late, rushed to get ready [thank god i took the time to do my hair], and headed out the door to work just to submerse myself into the slug-like crawling traffic that is known as the infamous New York rush hour. Once at the office, I went through my daily routines of emails, phone calls, and meetings. Every Wednesday the video staff at Newsday has a weekly meeting to cover any issues that have arose and to critique videos from past and future. I wondered if we were going to have a meeting this week at all, since the past couple weeks the meeting has been cancelled. However, my boss insisted that no one would miss this mandatory meeting at 3PM.

Ian usually calls me everyday at work to check in and see how I'm doing, to let me know he's thinking about me. However, as the hands on the clock continued to circle, the call had yet to come. I began to worry, but chalked it up to being a busy day at the bank for him. When I returned from lunch, I saw the bright red light on my phone illuminate my cubicle. Excited, I quickly punched in my code and immediately heard his voice assuring me he was okay, just very busy with an audit at the bank. He warned that he would not be able to talk for the rest of the day. I ran the message over in my head while hanging up the receiver and I pondered for a moment why it sounded so odd to me. He sounded nervous and overly loving. Lot's of "baby"s and "love you"s...more than usual. Maybe he was just in a very good mood today?

I continued my day, with no thought of the previous events. I felt bad that he was so busy at work when he was supposed to have this "random" week off for vacation. It must have been so hard for him to be bombarded at work when he was supposed to be relaxing at home all week. Various thoughts continued to float around in my head, along with some song lyrics to the music I had blaring in my earphones, when suddenly I snapped out of my internal world and noticed that the weekly meeting would be occurring in five short minutes. I wrapped up my project I was working on, grabbed my notebook, and headed back to the photo room to the conference table which houses all of our brainstorming sessions [along with a make-shift ping pong table].

As I walked into the room, I noticed an increase in photographers/videographers that had joined in on the meeting. "Quite a full room, for a meeting that barely happens," I thought. All of our photo/videographers all happened to have their cameras out, adjusting them, comparing them, etc. Yet another detail I had overlooked as odd. My boss wrangled the troops together and insisted we all sit around the conference table in an orderly fashion. "Wow. He's being anal about our seating today. These are usually so informal." Again. No clue. We start the meeting with normal banter. This continues until my boss unveils a project that I apparently had not been briefed about. His introduction, "So, we've been working on this project for the past few weeks that we want to unveil for Valentine's Day. We went out and did some basic MOS [man on the street] interviews to see what advice people have to give a newly engaged couple."

"Cute," I thought, "However, how is it that I didn't know about this project? Ugh. The communication in this department is horrible!" As we all directed our attention to the monitor, one of the editors pressed play, and this video approached the screen....

During the video, my mind started to wonder. A lot of the interviewees were people that we had interviewed in past stories within the month[including the surveillance video of the famous hit-mom....a popular story that has graced our paper many times about a woman who hired a hit-man to kill her husband because "he pissed her off too many times"]. Something started to seem fishy when Nassau County Executive, Ed Mangano and Olympic gold medalist [and fastest runner in the world], Sanya Richards Ross, started giving advice to the camera. Then I really started to wonder what the producers were thinking when "the chicken lady" from a recent restaurant review was telling her secret to a long and happy marriage. I began to vocalize my doubts of the video when all of a sudden Ian came up on the screen. I instantly started to shake, followed by tears, as I abruptly began to comprehend what was going on. Embarrassed from my rush of emotions in front of my team members, I covered my face and almost fell off my chair.

As laughter filled the room, I felt a tap on my shoulder. There, in person, Ian came out from our green room and had knelt down beside me holding this ring...

I have no idea what he said. I was too busy crying, shaking, screaming "Oh my GOD!!" inside my mind, while trying to wrap my head around what was going on. The clicks of the cameras were encircling us as I snapped into consciousness and heard the very end of his speech, "Jessica, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you please do me the honor and marry me?" With an enthusiastic "YES!" I jumped to my feet and gave him the biggest bear hug I could conjure up. Applause and shouts floated above us as I finally noticed the reason why all the extra photo/videographers graced the meeting....they were all there capturing our special moment!

Apparently, Ian had been working with the entire video staff for the past couple of months to summon up these interviews, filming his part of the video, and putting the finishing touches on the day. Along came champagne, cake, gifts, cards, and more "Congratulations!" than you could shake a stick at. The entire team, along with people who I'd never even met in the office, flooded the room to be a part of our special day. I soon learned I was the only one in the office, in my circle of friends, even in my family that didn't know this was coming. He had the help of everyone special in my life to create an unimaginable proposal.

Later in the day, he showed me a video that he had shot throughout the day, capturing his thoughts, errands, and all the excitement that was built up throughout the day until he was finally able to pop out and pop the question. He interviewed his family members, people at work, and captured the moments in the green room right before he walked out to surprise me.

Here is the video of the entire "operation engagement" going down, along with my reaction....

Let me rephrase myself. Wednesday, November 17th, 2010 wasn't like any other day. That day was one of the most remarkable, unforgettable days that began the journey of the rest of my life alongside my best friend, and the most amazing man I've ever met.

Newest blog on Newsday.com

2010-04-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

Michael "Big Mike" Lynche save a waste?

Missed 'AI' last night? Don't worry, all your favorites will be back again next week. Despite having the lowest votes this week, Michael "Big Mike" Lynche was saved from the chopping block. The newest addition to this 'American Idol' season is the concept of "saving" a contestant, if the judges thinks they are unrightfully voted off. They only get one save a season, and the judges unanimously voted to use this year's save on Big Mike. It must have been the way he belted out, "This Woman's Work," on what could have been his last performance at the Kodak Theater. Simon even commented to Mike, if he would've sang like that the night before they might not have had to even use the save. This episode is proof that fans can not slack on their voting, thinking their favorite is safe. Do you think the judges wasted the save on Big Mike? Or was this the perfect example of why the new save rule should exist from here on out?

Newest blog on Newsday.com

2010-04-01T10:29:00.000-07:00

Justin Beiber tackled, while Usher and P. Diddy take over 'AI' on Didi Benami's last night

The results of last night's show was predictable and nevertheless, not exciting. However, it seemed quite the contrary behind-the-scenes. As usual, the overriding support was shown for the three breakout contestants this season: Crystal Bowersox, Lee Dewyze and Michael Lynche. Even the original American Idol, Kelly Clarkson, showed her support, by tweeting: "Crystal Bowersox you are my favorite!! Keep it up!!" But what you didn't see was a fan tackling the tween pop star, Justin Beiber. Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Beiber wasn't just there to support his mentor, Usher. He was also there to tape a performance for a future show. During which, Beiber made the mistake of pointing to someone in the Beiber fan club who was sitting in the audience. The girl started running up on stage when a security guard grabbed her. Yet, Beiber didn't dissapoint. He made sure to run over to the fan and give her a big hug for her efforts. And this all happened before the live results show began!

As 6:00PM rolled around, Ruben Studdard came out of hiding to open the show with “Don’t Make ‘Em Like U No More." Nothing too entertaining happened until Katie was banished to the Bottom 3 stools. From there, Usher debuted his new single, "OMG" with a surprise appearance by the producer and co-writer of the song, Will.i.am, from the Black Eyed Peas. Will spit his verse in front of the swaying crowd, then left for the night. But before he left, the theater was filled with a little singing, extensive dancing, and a lot of autotune. That would be a great results show with amazing performances. But that wasn't all! P. Diddy, in his normal style, made sure to shut down the show with his newest, “Hello, Good Morning” performance.

The entertainment didn't stop there. Didi Benami's boot could be seen from a distance. Her performance the night before left little to be desired. But, it seemed like she finally started trying againwhen she was given a chance to sing for the judges' save after Ryan revealed her status as the week's lowest vote-getter. Her version of Fleetwood Mac's "Rhiannon," was much better when given a second chance and playing for her 'Idol' survival. Even Simon saw this. Which, in turn, made him and the other judges ponder for the first time this season if they should really let her go. After what seemed like ages, Simon finally made the call that they would not be using the save on her. Now, it makes us wonder if their "pondering" was real or just a great pulse-raiser. The tension was certaintly there. Do you think it was all staged? Watch the clip, and let us know....

Miley Cyrus! Demi Lovato! Joe Jonas! ...oh yeah, and Paige Miles was booted off 'American Idol'

2010-03-25T09:52:00.000-07:00

Disney stars took over the stage last night as Miley Cyrus (aka "Hannah Montana"), Demi Lovato (aka Sonny from "Sonny with a Chance") and Joe Jonas (aka Joe Lucas from "Jonas") all belted out tunes that made every tween in America swoon.

Demi and Joe performed their duet “Make A Wave” together for the third time in front of a large audience.Their newest single together is part of a bigger project the two pop icons, along with other Disney stars, have been working on called, Friends for Change: Project Green. The campaign is a green initiative that started last summer in which Disney's stars stress environmental issues encouraging fans to take action. Click below to watch a snipet of their performance:

Along with the two rumored lovebirds, Miley Cyrus also brought the house down with her newest single, "When I Look At You.” The song is from Miley’s upcoming movie “The Last Song,” (the latest Nicholas Sparks book-turned-movie) which comes out on March 31. Miley said on Tuesday night, while mentoring the contestants, that she was nervous to judge them and then mess up in front of them on Wednesday. However, it seems she was pretty comfortable on stage in her long, white, flowing dress while dipping her hair, as a rocker might, to emphasize her song. Her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, was briefly shown sitting in the audience cheering her on. That must have been who she was making all that eye contact with.

But enough about Disney stars. The real (unsurprising) news here, is the fact that Paige Miles is the newest "Idol" reject. Tim Urban, undoubtedly, was a close second to getting the boot. Both were off pitch and corny in their performances. Paige chose a song that was too big for her and Tim awkwardly danced around like he was a puppet on a string. Simon continued his theme of kicking the contestants when they are down, by telling her she had aboslutely no chance of a save. Paige rounded off the night by ending her "Idol" career with the upbeat song, "All Right Now." Unlike in past years, it seems to be easier to predict who will be on the cutting block next. Can we go ahead and just get to the final three?

Personality Summed Up Quite Nicely

2010-02-22T09:08:00.001-08:00

Jessy took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Is searching for a tight relationship with passion..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

My morning summed up

2010-02-17T06:31:00.000-08:00

reporter A to editor: "the jwoww thing is at 11."
reporter B: "whats the jwoww thing?"
editor: "she's dancing with autistic kids."
reporter B:"at 11:00 in the morning?!"
everyone in newsroom: "the time is what is surprising to you?!"

My first blog post featured on Newsday.com

2010-02-05T12:14:00.000-08:00

Wings? Check. Fans? Check. Ice-cold beer? Check and check. With just two days away from the big game, the preparations for Sunday's 2010 Super Bowl are coming to an end. However, it seems CBS is cutting it close with their final commercial choices.

This year has been full of drama when it came to the selection process for appropriate advertisements. CBS has already started creating controversy for rejecting an ad for the gay dating site, “Man Crunch” that featured two men kissing and accepting a pro-life ad, featuring Tim Tebow, by conservative group, Focus on the Family.

Of those who DID get accepted, the video game called Dante’s Inferno by Electronic Arts had to agree to change their ”Go to Hell” motto to a more family friendly, “Hell Awaits”. However, CBS still kind of preferred their own concocted tagline: ”Hell Awaits Pro-Choicers.” Check out the final version that both parties agreed upon:

Another Super Bowl favorite is the GoDaddy.com commercials. Since its debut of Super Bowl adverstisements in 2005, the web hosting company has made it's mark within the advertising world with it's racy marketing. This year is no different. The company has bought two 30-second slots to air in the first and fourth quarters. It leaked onto the Internet and we found it:

A not so controversial commercial will get the hearts racing of every quidditch fan. That's right, Universal Studios is giving a first look into the magical world of their Harry Potter attraction that is opening up this spring. Grab your wand, readjust your glasses, and call your owl into the room, you'll both enjoy this exclusive look into the Wizarding World of Harry Potter....

Vikings' fans was hoping to see their quarterback during the Super Bowl for longer than thirty seconds. However, thanks to some bad throws, that didn't happen. Hyundai quenches the thirst of all Brett Favre fans out there by naming him 2020's MVP. Watch their three-million dollar attempt to sell more cars:

Last but not least, is the annual Doritos Super Bowl commercial challenge. Six finalists have racked their brains and sharpened their funny bones to create this year's laugh out loud nacho cheesy ad campaigns. Observe the latest talent of marketing genius...

Still can't get enough Super Bowl commercials? Though all the ads haven't leaked, we still conjured up the list of ALL the commercials to be aired on Sunday. If you want to be in the know, continue reading....

Anheuser-Busch will not say how much time the company bought, but like every year, expect numerous commercials. Last year it had 4 minutes and 30 seconds.

Audi of America has one 60-second spot airing in the last quarter of the game. Fans of the band, Cheap Trick, will be stoked to hear one of their songs in the commercial promoting Audi's green car of the year.

Boost Mobile used their $2.6 million for one spot with a, “nostalgic feel to it”.

Bridgestone has one ad in the first quarter and one in the break of the third quarter. Not to mention the company is sponsoring the halftime show which is starring The Who.

Cars.com will have a full minute before half time to convince people to buy another car, even though the Cash for Clunkers program has came and went.

Careerbuilder has one commercial after the half time show which debuts their first ever contest winner. The “Hire My TV Ad” contest won't be as funny as the Doritos challenge, but here's hoping...

Chrysler’s Dodge has a full minute commercial with, “a message of irreverence”.

Coca-Cola is playing the same cards as Anheuser-Busch. They are keeping info about their plans under wraps. Although, since Pepsi won't be advertising this year, Coke won't have to try as hard.

Denny’s is going to have a 60 second ad which may repeat it's giveaway that it had last year.

Pop-Secret will have a commercial in the last quarter. Believe it or not, this entertainment food staple will be making it's first debut within the roundup of Super Bowl advertising. Rumor has it the ad will be animated.

Dockers will have one spot during the second quarter. Khakis will indeed be a part of this 30 second ad.

Dr. Pepper has bought it's very first ad during the Super Bowl...second quarter, to be exact. Dr. Love, Gene Simmons, will make another appearance as the soft drink's promoter.

E-Trade had a big hit last year with the baby talking about the stock market. Be prepared to see this again.

HomeAway fan of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation? Great. Then you'll love this commercial from a new online vacation booking company making it's debut on the ad list for the Super Bowl.

Honda will have an ad after the half time show. We will be introduced to the Accord Crosstour.

Kia has one 30-second commercial during the third quarter. 2011 will be bringing us a new Sorento.

kgb is the new answering service for those who HAVE to know now. Text them a question, but not what their Super Bowl ad will show. They are keeping it under wraps.

Mars better known as the company who makes the delicious M&Ms, spent their millions of dollars on a secret commercial.

Monster will have their usual one spot during the game. No details have been shared.

Motorola is another company keeping their commercial plans under lock and key.

NFL apparently doesn't have enough time during the three hour game. Therefore, they have two spots. One is 30 seconds. The other is 60 seconds.

Teleflora has another ad this year. This is it's second annual showing at the game. It is very likely they will talk about preparing for Valentine's Day.

TRUTV may be competition to CBS, however, that won't stop them promote their newest show during the second quarter.

U.S. Census Bureau bought a thirty second ad somewhere in the third quarter. Since it IS 2010, that means the counting has begun. They must be reminding everyone to fill out their forms so they won't be left out of the count.

Dove is known for their women's line of products. However, they are switching up the game and talking directly to the men this year.

Universal Pictures has a lot of trailers to debut. Look out for Robin Hood, Despicable Me, etc.

Paramount Pictures has a collection of three commercials to air. The movies? Shutter Island, Iron Man 2 and The Last Airbender by M. Night Shayamalan.

Volkswagen will have one ad during the third quarter. They will most likely try to sell you a car.

Walt Disney Pictures can afford numerous spots, but doesn't specify just how many it bought. But it is definitely in the line-up.

Taco Bell finishes out this list with yet, another secret it will not reveal. No details have been leaked on how this "authentic" Mexican restaurant will have us running for the border.

Well, there you have it...now you can show off your ESP to all your friends during the commercial breaks by predicting what will come next. To watch all your favorite Super Bowl commercials over and over be sure to stay tuned to www.newsday.com/video.

Life is Full of Decisions

2010-01-26T10:44:00.000-08:00

As a former resident of academia, I am looking to submerge myself once again into the world of knowledge. After high school, I immediately began my trek within the sphere of higher education at the local community college. Soaking up as much comprehension as I could, I did not declare a major. Instead, I took every class possible and received my Liberal Arts Associates degree. Because that was not enough, I continued my journey to the local four-year college.

Once I stepped foot on the worn marble floors of the college, where many before me had been given their start into the corporate world, I soon realized what I wanted to accomplish with my education. From there, I declared myself a Radio and Television Broadcasting major. I worked hard and long hours recording, producing, and writing in various forms of broadcasting in many different studios. While my passion led me on, I still wasn’t satisfied as I walked down the aisle in my cap and gown and received my Bachelors degree. As I transferred my tassel from the right to the left, I decided then and there that I would continue my adventure within academia.

To begin my Graduate studies, I studied abroad in China. Once there, I worked with government agencies in their various television stations and interviewed the best of the best within the industry. The accomplishments I gathered across the globe helped me to further achieve my short and long term goals, once back in the United States. I accelerated my track of accomplishments in order to graduate within one year of beginning my Masters degree in International Corporate Media. As I once again walked down the aisle to receive my diploma, my look of determination did not fade.

Instead of continuing my hike up the mountain of academia toward the peak of a Doctorate degree, I jumped into the corporate world. Here I am today at the nation’s eleventh biggest newspaper as the Video Traffic Programmer. Each day I am responsible for both quality control and trafficking of all videos running on Newsday.com and its affiliate websites while partnering with internal departments to drive web research and traffic using various search engine marketing. Though I am satisfied with my work everyday, there is a void that still nags at my soul. That void can only be filled with doctrine. This doctrine is found in the scholarly world; more specifically, in the Doctorate program of Organizational Leadership at Argosy University.

For me, the desire to attain a leadership angle to my current portfolio will assist me in my long-term goals of advancing my career to a management position. With this position, comes the need to build and work on a team. The skills of Organizational Leadership will teach you how to transform this team and take it to a whole new level, surpassing previous limits. The online classes that the program offers, fits perfectly with my busy schedule of a full-time job and frequent volunteering within my church. Because the campus is located out of my area, technology still gives me a chance to adhere to my first choice in selecting my educational institution. As a final result, I hope to use this opportunity to further my advancements in the corporate world and use my acquired skills to successfully motivate my colleagues in achieving extraordinary results for years to come.

Offensive?

2010-01-14T09:09:00.000-08:00

where is the line drawn when it comes to curse words?

today in the newsroom a heated debate erupted while trying to establish where this invisible line was located. a comment posted on an article on the company's website had the word, "ass" in it. the web editor felt this would promote more curse words for other readers to post and that it might be offensive to someone. he instructed a copy editor to "delete the offensive word out of the article's comment page." after a couple of minutes of tedious searching, the copy editor, exasperated, broke down and finally asked the web editor what exactly it was she was looking for.

"the three letter word that we don't like."
"you're gonna to be more specific. i don't see anything bad in this comment."
"just read it. you'll find it."
she reads the entire comment out loud.
"wait...are you talking about 'put their asses in jail'?"
"of course! i don't think that is appropriate."

insert here: numerous opinions from others in the newsroom within earshot distance, now dominating the conversation.

As tempers flared and more counterpoints were thrown around, the argument gradually grew and overcame the usual quiet humming of computer monitors, the ringing of another unsatisfied customer calling in, and the light murmur of CNN in the background. The web editor stood his ground and made his decision final. Many were offended that HE was offended by this small word.

"it's a donkey! no one thinks that it's a bad word!"
"everyone says it, it's part of our culture!"
"this is blatant censorship!"

i fidgeted slightly in my stiff office chair as i began to get lost in my own thoughts. who knew i would walk in to this stuffy, copier toner smelling, poorly florescent-lighted building and be inspired about values? it's funny how life's little stories, such as this, can be used as thought provoking topics for meditation.

was i offended? ehhh...not really. i use that word a lot. but then again, i also have trouble using curse words, so maybe i'm just jaded just like everyone else in this newsroom. cursing is one weakness that i have been trying to battle for years. it is an ever-living disease which can be easy to hide in most situations but just as easily to erupt once again. so easily, in fact, whenever you are surrounded by certain people or situations you find yourself in an out of body experience, watching yourself say things that are surprising, even to yourself. just as mold loves to grow in dark and moist surroundings, so does the urge to use curse words in worldly situations. i've been told to speak and act as if your pastor is always standing beside you. i think of this scenario frequently. it usually creates a sinking in my stomach and a subconscious sliding down in my seat. somehow guiltiness makes gravity much heavier on my shoulders. so, should i be offended by "ass"? it IS a word in the bible. would i say it to my priest? ....probably not. does the line differ for different people? can the line be moved, just like the yellow 1st down line during a Monday Night football game? maybe it just depends on the situation?

obviously this is a topic that isn't going to rock one's salvation, or is it? it's good to check ourselves every once in awhile and take a step back to assess the situation we've gotten ourselves in. Romans 14:21 says, "It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble." Ever notice how easy it is to use a curse word once someone else has already broken down that wall? To prevent this, Mark 9:42 warns us, "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck." yikes. this kinda makes me want ease up on cursing. we don't realize just how much our actions and our words affect those around us. as i've said in previous posts, a simple card with a brief message means the world to me. just as a smile can go a long way. you can brighten a stranger's day just by smiling at them as you pass on the street. the tv show, scrubs, gave a great example of how one's simple subliminal action can affect the whole hospital. Therefore, we should take the words from James 1:19, instructing us to watch our actions, "Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath." James comforts us, though, by telling us that this isn't always easy. in James 3:8-10, he says, "But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison."

The last thing we want to do is to become responsible for someone's demise in faith. by doing that, we must stay true to ourselves. "If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed, rather than having two hands, to go to hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched." (Mark 9:43) If your tongue causes you to curse, gossip, say things that may cause another to stumble, then your focus might want to turn to that issue.

I think 1 Corinthians 10:31-33 sums it up best, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved." Isn't that our ultimate goal? to save those around us? we're already saved. now, lets start acting like it so those we love can follow....

An excerpt from my favorite blog, which speaks to my life

2010-01-12T08:23:00.000-08:00

I had a highly un-Aquarian “oh crap” moment last night when I realized that my feelings for this guy were actually feelings—feelings I couldn’t brush off or leave behind in a bar or at the bottom of an empty bottle of Jack. Somewhere in the past months I had lost control of my emotions and suddenly my guy was not just any other guy. My on/off switch unexpectedly shorted out and there I was, stuck with feelings.

So how can you avoid this sneak attack of sentiment? Just look for these telltale signs so you can better prepare yourself for those oxygen-depraving, heart-stopping, gut-wrenching moments when you realize that emotions really can come true in New York.

Jealousy
By the time you’ve hit age twenty-five, you’ve most likely had at least two post-junior high relationships, been cheated on, and had a minimum of one heart wrenching break-up that either resulted in a borderline eating disorder or required weekly attendance at your local AA chapter—essentially, a dating graveyard. So why do we (ok why did I) get jealous just hearing about our current partner’s hairy ex from college who permanently smelled like curry or seeing an old picture on Facebook that was never untagged? It’s because we want to have what they once shared together and more. Essentially, we want to stick around longer, outperform, outlook, and outsex our predecessors.

Fear
I should have smelled my emotions sneaking up on me from a mile away when Billy told me he was going out with a friend to play “wingman” for the night. The knot I instantly got in my stomach was an unkind reminder of when The Attorney played “wingman” one night with one of his friends—and so graciously ended up with another woman in his bed the next morning. When the fear of potentially losing someone enters the picture, you’re a goner for control over your feelings. White flag should be a full staff.

Approval from Your Friends
If your friends don’t like your significant other, whether they’re sober or inebriated, it’s usually for a damn good reason that you’re too stubborn (or drunk) to see. But once you know your friends have given their stamp of approval (and it hasn’t happened since 2007), your emotional guard instantly, and uncontrollably, goes down, making you more at ease with all those happy thoughts in your head that you can now free.

Lack of Flaws
Impatience, sub-par driving skills, and a tendency to avoid talking about feelings are just a few of my flaws—we all have them. If I had a dollar for every sneeze, chew, ugly shoe, bad pair of jeans, or obsession with Fantasy Football that annoyed me in my past relationships, I’d be a rich woman who could finally stop slinging Coors Lights on Friday nights. But when you can’t see your significant other’s flaws or choose to overlook them, all I have to say is one and a half words: DONE-ZO!

I can only hope that these four warning signals can help you to identify and better prepare yourself for any “oh shit, I have feelings” moments in your relationship futures. Hangovers happen, and apparently so do emotions. Who knew what 2010 would bring?

Updates

2009-12-14T12:22:00.000-08:00

I've been slacking on my blog posts. life has been crazy. how is it that life starts happening to you and then one day you look back and wonder where it went?

anyway...I last left off my adventures going home to Ohio to find out I couldn't get divorced then returning home with a lot of great memories. I previously mentioned the adventure of getting my car back from the towing company, when I came home. with me on this adventure was my good friend, Ian. my last post left the story at that point. but the story has evolved since i last wrote.

my good samaritan friend and i continued to have adventures on a daily basis. we discovered our similar love for God, our gift for sarcasm, and the fact that we both dress to impress. the days flew by until next thing you know, it is thanksgiving eve. we went to church together that night then we found ourselves back in my driveway and talking about the past adventures we had been sharing throughout that week when finally it dawned on us...this is too good to be true. this is the point where we became, "facebook official"...i believe that is what the kids call it these days.

i was ecstatic. i had finally found the person that i had been praying to God for all these years. he literally covered every checklist that i had made for myself. yet, in the back of my head, i could hear all the voices judging me....to the point where it ruined my experience. i kept telling myself that this shouldn't be happening....i should be miserable for at least a couple of years after my divorce becoming more and more bitter and hating the male species. but it wasn't happening. i was happier than i'd ever been before. i was actually giving my friends positive advice, instead of just telling them to dump the guy that was making them upset. my cynical nature was gone. but, what will people think? everyone will think i'm moving too fast...that i'm just jumping into another relationship to get over my last failed one. the fear of people's judgments paralyzed me.

i'm not going to lie....i'm still scared of what people think. but deep down, i know my intentions are pure and i've made all my decisions in prayer. everything in this relationship gives me peace and it all happens so easily, which tells me it can't be wrong. now, my prayers will be filled with me seeking the ability to let go of my pride issues (among MANY other things). when that happens, i'll be sure to write about it...

A Buckeye Story

2009-11-24T05:09:00.000-08:00

Thursday started out like any other day. My alarm started screaming in my ear at 4:17AM to get up and start my day. After smacking the snooze alarm both times the clock tried to wake me up, I finally started my day. I went through my usual routines and ended up at the gym a little after 5AM. Once there, I only had time to do a half hour of cardio and tan before I had to leave and get to work an hour earlier than normal because Thursday was the day I was flying back home. Thursday was the day that it all started to go down hill.

I went to work an hour early (I had planned on going in two hours earlier). I quickly tried to finish all my morning tasks in order to get a head start on the day. All was going well until we had a breaking news story come in literally 10 minutes before I had to leave. I did as much as I could before I handed it off to a co-worker and rushed to my car. I planned on going to a new train station for this trip, because the last train station I used was a bit sketchy. Google Maps told me my drive would only last 10 minutes. I left 20 minutes early in order to give myself time to buy a ticket and walk to the train podium and calmly walk onto the train, relaxed and ready to enjoy my weekend. Google Maps, however, didn't inform me that the lunch hour traffic would make my drive double in time. Therefore, by the time I got to the train station and realized there was not one open parking spot, I did what any rushed, incompetent driver would do....I parked my car in an open parking lot beside the train station thinking, "Wow, I really lucked out finding this parking lot which has so many parking spots available!" That was my first mistake.

My second mistake was wearing heels. With just two minutes left to run into the train station, buy my ticket, and run to the opposite side of the platform, I resorted to removing my pumps and running as fast as I could while my two gigantic bags flopped like a fish out of water behind me, causing me to stop at sporadic moments to readjust them for premium time-saving sprinting. The man buying tickets at the automated ticket booth could see the aggravation and sweat rolling off my face. This didn't seem to phase his calm and collected self. The long, boisterous sigh I so blatantly announced barely made the man swipe his card faster. Once he slithered away, I started blindly pressing every button on the screen in the approximate position I remembered they had been before when buying a train ticket. With a quick swipe of my card, I found myself waiting centuries for the receipt and ticket to print. In the far distance, I heard the faint sound of a train whistle float above my head. I picked my heels up from the ground, while still grasping my train ticket with a ninja like grip and continued my marathon down the steps of the underpass to the opposite train platform. As the chugging of the train wheels crawled closer and closer and my breath grew shorter and shorter, I started praying harder than I ever had before. I saw the light peeking in at the end of the tunnel. I kept my eyes focused on the sunlight, trying desperately to activate some miracle flying power. As I neared the stairs up to the platform, I saw the train inching closer and closer. I climbed the mountainous flight of stairs up to the platform where a gust of wind cooled my tension filled face. As soon as the worn-down wheels of my luggage hit the platform, the train doors opened and I rushed onto the mass transit bullet (while minding the gap, of course).

Once on the train, I collapsed into my seat with the aura of success surrounding me. I readjusted my shirt with a determined look on my face, knowing I could conquer it all. Fast forward to an hour later. My plane is delayed, as most were that day....that rush to the train station? Worthless. However, the day wrapped up with me landing in Pittsburgh, as I was greeted by my parents and sister. We caught up the whole drive home and stopped for dinner at our new traditional spot in Wheeling, WV. When I finally arrived at my parents house around 10PM and unpacked, I gently slipped into an unconscious state in my old bed.

Day two was about to trump day one. My body, used to waking up at 4:30AM every morning, allowed me to sleep in until about 6:30AM. Once I got up, my nervousness grew within me and created a sickness which always seems to find me in times such as these. I continuously re-read note cards with inspirational Bible verses my friend Jillian made specifically for me to use during this trip. I ate a small homemade breakfast and I was on my way to court. My parents came with me for support and tried to distract my thoughts from forming on the 45 minute drive to the family divorce courthouse. As we drove through the beautiful Mid-Ohio Valley, I realized how much I love coming home. The bare trees sped past the car window while the river seemed to run beside us the entire way. It made me thankful to be able to visit such a relaxing environment. As I looked up from the handwritten note cards of inspiration my hands began to tremble as I saw the court house outside my window. The car lurched into park and the next thing I know I'm standing inside the old brick building where so many families are torn apart.

"What's the last name?" A security guard asked me, pulling me out of my racing thoughts. "Ayers," I replied sheepishly. From this point on, time no longer existed. Someone had pressed the frame-by-frame button and now life was running at 1/3 of the speed as it should. As more and more people joined the whispered conversation unveiling in front of me, the drama began to run thick through the hallways. Next thing I know, I'm sitting in the waiting room praying to God that he didn't forsake me and this is all just a joke. A lady with a crocheted sweater vest and green khaki pants walks through the door to deliver the news, "I'm sorry ma'am, but it says here in your file that the actual court date is the 30th. You've come on the wrong day. We can't legally divorce you today." I tried to swallow, but the lump in my throat wouldn't allow me. I took a deep breath and stuttered my way through a broken up question, asking for more details. As the middle aged woman tried explaining to me the situation I could only focus on the stinging sensation in my eyes. My held back tears soon evolved into pure madness. I shook my head, to clear my thoughts and began raising my voice to get my point across. Many minutes later of stern vocabulary, I was once seated back in the waiting room, praying, hoping for better news.

I didn't get divorced on Friday, like I was supposed to. The 30th still remains as the court date. However, I won't be flying back or taking another day off work. Instead, the courts compromised with me and agreed to doing a teleconference while I'm at work. What I thought was a disaster, actually turned into a much better situation than originally planned. Now, I won't have to run into any dysfunctional family members blaming me for their son's failure at life and I won't have to see the person I most desire to kill for ripping my heart out. The Lord knew what was best for my heart and emotions, and he made sure everything worked out for the best.

A resolved problem led us to lunch at Logan's Roadhouse then back home for celebratory drinks and movies. My sister came up to my parents house and we hung out and reverted back to our old ways of laughter and bonding like we were young again. After a long, reviving nap, I changed into my "fashion show gear" and drove to my friend Alan's house.

Alan and I went to high school together. We never really hung out in high school...in fact I was mean to Alan in high school. But once we both went to college and had a class together and realized that cliques meant nothing in the real world, we became great friends through many ups and downs. Once at Alan's house, we jumped into his Jeep and drove to Marietta to meet up with our friend Adam.

Adam and I met at the community college we both attended after high school. We had many classes together. We HATED each other. It wasn't until years after we both moved on from the community college to Marietta College and I started dating his best friend. We were forced to hang out with each other and now that I've moved on from the best friend, Adam and I still talk and are best friends. He's also been there for me through thick and thin.

The three of us had fun judging the outfits....and people. It wasn't the best from the past years, but the show keeps growing every year and the production is becoming massive. I've been there since the beginning and it's so exciting to see it evolve into a bigger show every year.

Once the fashion show was over we went to one of my favorite places in the 'etta...the MBC. We had the famous Woodchuck beer. Alan and I each had our own pitcher, while Adam drooled over our consumption. His new medication doesn't allow him to partake in the golden nectar, so we had fun rubbing the temptation in his face. Peer pressure is always a fun activity. Once we finished our drinks, Adam drove us in Alan's jeep over to his house so we could all change for my sorority's formal.

Once we arrived at the formal, Alan and Adam busted out their horrible dance moves (as usual). And I caught up with all my girls. It was great to see them....even though all the new girls made me feel so old. I now have three generations under me. Here they are:

There were so many young people there, we barely knew anyone. Therefore, Alan got the great idea to go to the Townhouse, another famous landmark in Marietta. The three of us went to the laid-back, casual bar in our formal wear and stuck out like a thumb. We sipped on our Bud Lights and enjoyed the rest of the evening, talking and catching up until the bar closed down. Alan and I dropped off Adam at his house then we trekked on down Rt. 60 to Beverly, where we both grew up. The eventful night ended with me, again, gently slipping into dream land.

The next morning abruptly began as I heard cooking pots clanging in the kitchen above me. As I wiped the sleep from my eyes, I began to climb up the circular stairs in my parents house. The smell of turkey and stuffing filled the air. As I reached the top of the stairs, I saw that my mother had set the table for an early Thanksgiving meal. By the time the meal was prepared, there was so much food, you could barely see the table. As a joke, my dad had bought a box of wine the day before. We busted it open and each tried a glass with our meal. None of us had ever experienced the glamour of boxed wine. Surprisingly, it wasn't that bad.

After our Thanksgiving meal, we all took naps, sat around to reminisce about the good 'ole days, and watched THE game - Ohio State vs. Michigan. I realized how much I missed college football and those who actually follow college football at sporadic moments during the game. I then prepared to go out to dinner for my divorce party.

Though my party wasn't official, since the court date accomplished nothing, we still had an amazing time celebrating my soon-to-be freedom. I met 12 of my friends at Bdubs where we had dinner and drinks. Some of us stayed afterward and watched the big UFC fight and laughed about the good times. After two long nights of staying out late, I had to call it a night around 11PM and Alan and I returned home to Beverly where I spent my last night in Ohio.

I actually slept in until 10AM on Sunday, enjoying every second of it. Once up, I began to pack all my things. (Why is it always harder to pack your clothes when you are returning home?) Once packed, I took a shower, got dressed, and packed the car to leave for Pittsburgh. I had lunch one more time with the family then we left for the airport. My dad and my sister dropped off my mother and I. My mother flew back with me and is staying with me until the first of December. While she is here, I plan to take her to Montauk, some museums and restaurants in the city, and all over the island to do some exploring.

When we landed at JFK, we had to wait an hour for our train to take us back to my car. For some reason the train we were on didn't have the usual signs telling you which station was next. We almost missed our location, we had to run to get off the train. Once we got off the train and was walking back to the parking lot, I realized my car was gone. Right beside my car was a small sign that read, "PRIVATE LOT". My car had been towed. Luckily, just at that moment, a cab drove up and I flagged it down. One awkward conversation and $60 later, we found ourselves at my apartment. As soon as I got home I tried to get on the Internet to find the towing company that would have my car. I also had to email work to let them know I would be coming in late the next day, due to the need to pick up my car in the morning at a location that was still a mystery. As I logged onto my computer, I realized there was no connection. Without any internet connection, I have no cell phone service. I have no bars in my apartment, therefore I had to buy a network extender which plugs into my internet and allows me to receive full service. So I had no car, no internet, and no phone. And I had only been back in New York for two hours.

Forty-five minutes later, and many trips up and down the stairs between my phone (which was outside…the only place I could get service) and my modem in the living room, I was informed my router was the problem and the cable company didn’t have any power to fix my problem. Deflated and disappointed, I went back into the house for the last trip and unplugged everything. While I was racking my brain trying to figure out what I would do, I got the idea to plug everything in one last time and try to work on it. As I plugged the router, modem, and network extender in the lights on all three began to flicker like a Christmas tree. It had worked! I had tried this three times before, but apparently this time was the charm. Joy overcame me.

I was able to figure out where my car was towed, email the appropriate people about my tardiness, and get a ride to my car. My amazing friend Ian volunteered to assist me in finding my car. We got lost. Many times. He got a ticket. The towing company only accepted cash. We couldn’t find a bank. There were so many things that went wrong that morning. It was at the point where all you could do was laugh. It helped that I had someone to laugh with and make the ridiculous trip actually fun. When I was finally able to drive my car back to work, I parked and started to get out of the car when it hit me…I forgot my ID for work. Therefore, I had to go through massive security measures just to get inside and start work. However, once there I had a lot of support from co-workers asking how it all went and trying to cheer me up after hearing the disappointing news.

Though so many horrible things happened this weekend, I saw God working through my life and helping me get through it. The old me would have given up, cried non-stop, taken it out on family and friends, and overall would have been miserable. Whereas, I am the happiest person in the world, right now. I can’t seem to get this smile off my face….

Pilot of Gardening Series

2009-11-17T08:50:00.000-08:00

type="application/x-shockwave-flash"
allowFullScreen="true"
width="512" height="288">

What's Next?

2009-11-13T11:04:00.000-08:00

I was driving home from work yesterday. To pass the time in the miles of the snail movement that is known as New York rush hour, I was blaring the radio and creating my own dance floor in the drivers seat. As I was listening to my usual Hot 97 infused hip-hop, i suddenly got the urge to change the station to something else. I randomly hit a preset button. No faster than my finger came off the cold plastic of the button did five gentlemen join me in my car to assist me in my rush hour boogie. I was instantly transported to a simpler time that involved braces, padded bras, and an unnerving social awkwardness. Who were these fellas? None other than *NSYNC.

Yes...Justin, JC, Chris, Joey, and Lance all brought back those giddy feelings and pure happiness. By pure I mean "clean". Listening to "Girlfriend" made me realize how much music and our culture has evolved. I remember when it was scandalous when Britney Spears would tie up the white button up shirt of her school girl uniform so that her belly button was exposed while singing about missing a boy. Now, Miss Spears is part of the "envelope race" trying to reach the finish line in top position, doing whatever it takes.

What do I mean by "envelope race"? This term refers to the growing rivalry between performers to push the boundaries all in the name of "art". How can I push the envelope? How can I be as daring and sexually explicit in my music more than the next person...and get attention for it? Being a slut is now the biggest PR stunt one could do for an increase in album sales. Of course, this trend DID start with our previous bubblegum pop singers. The name of the game was created by Christina Aguliera when her manager wanted her to up the game and make a name for herself, to distinguish herself from Britney. How was this accomplished? "Dirrrty". Of course, that raised the bar, so other artists came out with their own versions.

Now we are facing songs like, "Get Low" by Lil' Jon & The East Side Boys (look up the lyrics by clicking here, then find out what they mean here), "Crank Dat" by Soulja Boy (again, lyrics...meaning), "Beep" by The Pussycat Dolls, "Love Games" by Lady Gaga, "Candyshop" by 50 Cent....the list could go on and on.

Last night I went to bible study. We always hold our meetings in the back of a diner. A few tables down was a family having dinner. The parents, the grandma, and the two little girls were all talking, laughing, and celebrating a birthday. Toward the end of the dinner, the father gave the girls a quarter to put in the jukebox and choose a song to play. Shaking with excitement, the sisters skipped over to the jukebox, stretched their little arms as high as they could, and both pushed the quarter in and began it's journey down the spiraling track, which reached the abyss of the land of quarters. The jukebox buzzed on and lit up like a Christmas tree. As they flipped through the list of songs, we all looked at each other and commented how cute they were. As we continued our discussion, our concentration was abruptly disrupted by the loud jolt of music filling the air. "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi started filtering through the booths and tables of the diner. The group of us creened our necks over and were bombarded by the sight of these two little girls (estimated ages 5 and 7) dancing with their hips and singing to EVERY word to the song. I've heard this song a thousand times on the radio, but I STILL don't know all the words. It made me start thinking about how perceptive kids are to music. I remember when I was younger, I could watch a movie once or twice and recite the entire script to a stranger while sitting in the shopping cart of the grocery store, while my mom put back the sugary cereal I threw in the cart. (The Little Mermaid, Lion King, and Toy Story are all good examples of this) So with the current race to be on top of the sexual exclamation in music, how is this affecting our kids??

"I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry created the newest step up in the battlefield of sales. This song was HUGE. It was everywhere. I heard little girls walking around singing it and giggling while skipping down the sidewalk. Girls, not much older than those in the diner, singing lyrics like this:

"No, I don't even know your name, it doesn't matter
You're my experimental game, just human nature
It's not what good girls do, not how they should behave
My head gets so confused, hard to obey"

This prompted many talk shows to talk about the growing trend of barsexuals, bisexuals, homosexuals, and everything in between. Of course, Tyra did an episode primarily on this song. However, the trend didn't last long. Now, there is a new trend. This can be found by the most recent "check mate" move by our old pal, Britney Spears. "3" has been dominating the air waves all over the world and making little girls sing lyrics like this:

"Three is a charm
Two is not the same
I don't see the harm
So are you game?

Lets' make a team
Make 'em say my name
Lovin' the extreme
Now are you game?

Are - you in
Livin' in sin is the new thing
Are - you in
I am countin'!
1, 2, 3"

I've even caught myself singing this song unexpectedly. It gets stuck in my head every time I hear it. The lyrics are strapped to an up-beat, club appropriate sample, to make it easier to gently slide into your subconscious. This song is blantly talking about having a three-some. It even says in the song, "hey, this is the new cool thing to do...everyone should do it." How can Britney Spears live with herself knowing that little girls all over the world are listening to this and following her word? I don't care if you don't want to be a role model or not...it's not a choice. Whether you want to be or not, these girls will still look up to you. Younger generations are so used to getting their opinions fed to them through biased liberal media and the entertainment industry; therefore, they don't know any better. They don't think for themselves, they take what they hear on the radio or see on tv and instantly file this into the "reality" section of their brain. They can't distinguish the difference between entertainment and actuality. The growing trend of "reality shows" like "The Hills," "Gossip Girl," and "My Sweet 16" are allowing these kids to think this is everyday life for the typical teenager. Also, entertainment "news" on every channel makes the lines blurred between what is actual news and entertainment. This is all these kids know. They didn't grow up eating dinner around the table with Tom Brokaw giving them the nightly news from around the world....they grew up with eating junk food on their bed while texting their friends, watching Ryan Seacrest telling them who is the latest to have a baby bump.

So, when Britney is telling them, "What we do is innocent, Just for fun and nothin' meant. If you don't like the company, Let's just do it you and me. You and me... Or three... Or four... - On the floor!," they are going to think, "Oh, well, if Britney says it's innocent and the cool thing to do, and I'm not that popular...then I have to do this to be cutting edge and cool. I may feel bad about it, but Britney says it's innocent....so it's okay." You have to remember...kids base all their actions on how to get candy, teens base all their actions on how to become popular. If you tell them, "Do this...and you will be come popular," they will do it...no matter how outrageous. Because that is all the world they know. They don't realize that in five years no one will care what jeans you wore or who you hung out with. You'll be lucky if the people you graduate with even remember you. But these kids only think in the right then and now. So, now with songs like these cropping up in our schools, we're facing a huge epidemic of teen sex...which turns into teen diseases.

"A lot of teens think that's the way they're supposed to be, they think that's the cool thing to do. Because it's so common, it's accepted," said Ramsey, a teen editor for Sexetc.org, a teen sexual health Web site produced at Rutgers University. There is actually a study that states sexually charged lyrics in pop songs lead to greater promiscuity among teenagers. The Associated Press stated, "Teens who said they listened to lots of music with degrading sexual messages were almost twice as likely to start having intercourse or other sexual activities within the following two years as were teens who listened to little or no sexually degrading music." Kids are performing oral sex, like they're shaking hands. Nowadays it's how they say hello. This has become a ridiculous trend, and it's all thanks to our corruptive music. I remember when I thought "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia was racy because she talked about "lying naked on the floor". I submit we go back to the good ole days of boy bands and young girls just wanting to get their boyfriend back.....

Swine Flu

2009-11-03T10:22:00.001-08:00

type="application/x-shockwave-flash"
allowFullScreen="true"
width="512" height="288">

Glee Interview

2009-11-03T10:11:00.000-08:00

Boys, take note....

2009-10-28T11:18:00.001-07:00

That is all, for now....

Weekend Travels

2009-10-20T08:17:00.000-07:00

After living in ny for three months, this weekend marked my first trip back home to the MOV. friday i left work at 12:30, then drove directly to the closest train station and rode into JFK. i flew out at 3:30 PM, got to pittsburgh round 6. my parents and sister were there to pick me up. we talked the whole way home, catching up and stopped and ate at sheetz in wheeling, wv. we stopped there to get something to drink, but then we realized we were all hungry so we all got hot dogs there. for some reason, i've been on a huge hot dog kick lately. i never realized they made food there. it was weird.

after i got to my parents house, my bff adam showed up and we all just sat around and caught up. adam, me, and my mom were watching conan when mom and i both fell asleep so he woke me up, said bye, and left. before he left, however, he got me a "coming home" present....it was a dvd of "My Best Friends Wedding." sadly, it's my fav movie but i only have it on VHS, so i never watch it. that was nice of him.

saturday i woke up (i got to sleep in until 8) and ate breakfast. it was awesome to have a homemade breakfast and not just rushing cereal while your running out the door. mom and i got ready and went down and watched the pathetic marietta college homecoming parade. it was literally like 5 cars and there were maybe 50 people outside watching it. i felt bad. adam, once again, met us there and after the stupid parade, we took my mom to the very impressive, new library to show her around. she appreciated what they did with her money.

the library tour was followed by the tailgate and then the game and froze our butts off. it wasn't even fun because it was so cold. and the brand new flats i bought, which i thought was supposed to be comfy, rubbed my heels raw. they still hurt today. plus, the new pair of jeans i bought were apparently too big because they kept falling down. needless to say, i was pretty uncomfortable.

not to mention, 90% of the people there are to the point where they are too young for me to even know, so i didn't get to talk to or see as many people as i thought i would have. that was dissapointing. i sat with my OXO girls. nancy flowers, my grandlil, was our homecoming candidate. her and amanda, my little, and i took pics together. it was cute. of course, she didn't win. a chi o won. and i think an ATO won. they were young, so i didnt know them. oxo won one competition...3rd place for munchies on the mall.

after half time and all the winners were announced, we left (along with half the crowd at the game) and went to the mass media building where they were having open house. i caught up with all the professors and of course, my favorite secretary, joyce. my dad and my sister met us there and we were there for about an hour talking. finally, we all got in my parents van and drove around for a bit, then we went to parkersburg and met up with my 2 uncles and their wives and their kids and we all had dinner. my friend paige came into parkersburg and met us for dinner as well. i think she's coming up the weekend after thanksgiving. i'm excited for that. really old pic of us -->

we didn't leave dinner until 10PM, so right afterwards adam and i went to marietta and met alan and matt at the townhouse. it was sooo crowded. the townhouse was clearly the place to be. we later went to the brewery to get one more woodchuck pitcher (apparently, the brew pup is closing down). we each bought a pitcher and enjoyed our time together. no one we knew was at the brewery, it was all older people. plus, a band was playing, so you couldn't even hear yourself think. therefore, we went back to the townhouse and closed it down. we got kicked out at 2:05 AM. they were really rude about it. we had JUST bought another beer and they wouldn't let us finish it. lame.

after that, the 4 of us went to first settlement. it was packed too. everyone from the bar went there. it was an awesomely fun night. we all caught up and laughed and had a good time. after being at the diner for over an hour, matt and alan followed each other back home to beverly and i went to adams and we watched "When Harry met Sally," one of my top five movies of all time. he had never seen it before. of course, i passed out like 15 minutes into the movie. altho i kept waking up at sporadic times and falling back asleep. his mom and set up one of his brother's room so i could sleep in it for the night. i went upstairs and passed out. i woke up @ 8:30, but his parents were still there. i didn't want to go down there cause it would be super awkward....i'm scared of his parents. haha. so i waited until 10:30 till they left for church. i said bye to adam then i drove home. (my parents let me borrow a car for the night) i got home and took a shower, ate brunch, packed, took a nap, then my mom woke me up when we had to drive back to pittsburgh airport. btw...what is with all the construction??! it was a major pain, and they weren't even working on any of it! ugh. so frustrating. we had to leave early just for because all the orange cones made traffic crawl.

my flight left pittsburgh @ 7:40 PM, then i had an hour layover in D.C. that flight didn't leave until 9:45 PM. i got into JFK at 11:15 PM, and JUST missed the train back to my car. so i had to wait an hour, until 12:36 AM and rode it for about a half hour to my car. then i got lost while i was driving home. i couldn't find the interstate. haha. so a simple 20 minute drive turned into 35. i finally got home at 2:00 AM. but before i could go to bed i had to let my neighbor's dogs out. she had called earlier. so that took forever.

i let bella, the black pug, come down with me and daisy and we all slept together last night. it was a loud night with two pugs in the room. i had to get up early on monday morning to let the neighbor dogs out again. then when i got to work i remembered as i was walking in that i forgot my work ID. i started freaking out. i had to go thru security and they had to ask me a million questions and make me a temporary id card for the day and get all these people to sign off that i actually work here. even tho, my name and extension number is in their files. ugh. such a pain. why does a newspaper have such high security anyway? it's like going to the airport everytime you come into work. monday was one of those days where everything that could go wrong, did.

as for the future...i'm not going home for thanksgiving. i'll be home the weekend before to retain my freedom once again (aka...divorce court) and i just can't see myself flying in for two weekends in a row. therefore, i'm going to live it up in nyc and go to the macy's thanksgiving day parade. it will be a first for the parade. i'm very excited. however, i'm not sure where the best place to view the parade is located. i'm looking for any tips.

i'll be in for a week for christmas. during that time, i'll be in my high school's reunion theatre show. all the alumni are singing and dancing old songs from musicals they were in during their highschool days in drama class. it should be fun and/or interesting.

thinking ahead to christmas, i'm trying to figure out how i can get all the gifts for my family home?? maybe when i order them i'll just have it shipped to my parents house (hopefully, they won't sneak a peek). or if i pick something up at a store i'll mail it to them. i already have a problem packing lightly for just a weekend. i almost had to check a bag because i had so many. (one bag was full of just shoes and handbags) so, flying with a bunch of gifts is unacceptable. again, any tips welcome.

my last blog i discussed how i added to my morning routine by working out. i was doubtful in myself how long it would actually last. however, my morning workouts lasted the entire week, and as soon as i catch up on my sleep from this past weekend, i'm going to start going again. i should be back in the gym by 5 AM wednesday morning. i LOVE working out in the morning. it makes me feel amazing. here's to many more...

Let's Get Physical...Physical!

2009-10-12T05:38:00.000-07:00

Today i woke up at 4:30AM, and i WASN'T sick or headed to disney world. i actually set my alarm for this ridiculous time on purpose. as i said in a previous blog, i started a healthier regimine for my life by walking my pug, miss daisy duke and going to the gym for an hour to work out everyday. my previous plan occured after work. however, it wasn't going too well. i would usually start out strong on monday...then tuesday i would go but after i "found" things to do around the house. wednesday i flat out would pass out and sleep the whole night. thursday night i have bible study, therefore i don't go because i don't have enough time for both. however, fridays i usually don't have any plans. so i would defintely go then, right? nope. i gave myself a "day off". then i usually resume my routine on saturday and sunday for a couple of hours of an intense workout.

today, however, i made sure to only abuse my alarm clock a couple of times. i got up while it was still dark and headed to the gym. i tanned then did cardio for 30 minutes, resistance training for 30 minutes, and 30 minutes of free weights. i ended up getting back home at 6:30 to shower and get ready for work. and surprisingly, i left earlier than i usually do and accomplished everything i needed to. i'm starting to think this whole getting-up-early thing is more conveinent. however, this is my first day. we'll see if i can continue this new lifestyle throughout the entire week....and continue throughout the many weeks to come.

i like getting the workout over with early. that way i don't have to stress about it all day. i can just go home from work and relax. also, it gives me so much more energy for the day. i feel amazing and i feel like i've accomplished a lot, even before work. i'm curious, however, to see what my bed time will evolve into. usually, i go to bed around 9 or 10. i hope this already early bed schedule doesn't grow. i already have to save my sunday nights to catch up on all the week's tv shows i've ti-voed and missed during the week because i would fall asleep while trying to watch them. this adult life isn't as glamorous as i ever thought it would be...

this weekend i won't be able to work out because i'm flying back home for my college's homecoming (go pios!). hopefully i can work out friday morning (though, i'm doubtful since i have to go into work early), but my days are so packed on saturday and sunday visiting with family and friends and filled with amazing food, it will be hard to get back on schedule once i get back. one can only hope...

on an unrelated note....i noticed a trend forming in the fashion industry, and now it's official because AOL wrote an article on it. they call fashion week in bryant park the first instance in which this phenomenom was first introduced. but i have to give credit where it is due, months ago cycle 13 of ANTM was filmed in L.A., where tyra gave her new girls "ty-overs" and deemed this new fashion statement a must. bianca and erin were the two who were chosen to rock the look. i must say it is very high fashion....definitely not something you want to rock to the workplace. but i'm digging it. i could never pull it off, few can. but i give props to those who are brave enough to don this look and work it.

Act 2: Fashion

2009-10-09T09:26:00.000-07:00

this is my second post about fashion. clearly, i'm a fan. every thursday i ti-vo project runway. a quick look at any credit card statement will tell you i'm a victim of retail therapy. however, when it comes to my own personal fashion statement, i am schizophrenic. i can't keep to just one theme. i love it all so much that i get overwhelmed and can't stick to one particular style.

by basics i revolve around:

dark shade jeans (boot cut)

cardigans

scarves

brightly colored heels

my favorite stores are charlotte russe, forever 21, wet seal, and H&M. these stores are all known for their trendy junior clothing. they organize their floor models by different styles:

hobo

classic

80's

clubbing

urban

i'm a classic dresser all the way. but i love the look of urban. but i can't pull it off. skinny jeans were made for only skinny gals. period. plus, i'm so white i have no street cred to pull off the confidence this look requires.

I could pick at least one or two items from each of these looks to wear and love. but i hate being so fickle about my style. i wish i could just be one or the other. maybe it's a good thing that i can't be pegged and put into a corner. i just feel i would be stronger in my fashion sense if i could tackle one style perfectly. cause we all know when you where too many accessories or try to tackle too many different looks in one outfit, you look like a hotmess.....

Epidemic

2009-10-08T08:36:00.000-07:00

"i hate my thighs. why am i so fat? i hate my arms. ugh..i'm so fat. i hate my small nose. reminds me of jr. high when everyone would make fun of it. i hate that my eyebrows are so thin. i hope that no one can tell i pencil them in. i hate my freckles. oh no...my make-up is wearing off and you can see them! i hate my gut. it's huge. disgusting. i can't wear any pants without it sticking out. i hate my complexion. you can clearly tell i wear make-up. i wish i was darker. ugh."

i'm screaming this at myself everytime i look in the mirror. i'm always telling myself why i'm not good enough, smart enough, or likeable enough to accomplish anything. and even if i do accomplish something, i chalk it up to luck or sympathy. just the other day at work there were three people talking. they were far enough away i couldn't hear them. then, all of a sudden, they started laughing loudly, abruptly knocking me out of my state of concentration. as i hear their cackles echo through the office, my heart started to pump faster, my pulse increased and my breathing escalated to a quick pace. "what are they saying about me? why are they laughing at me?" of course, they weren't talking about me at all. nor anyone. i found out later they were laughing at a video they were watching on youtube. but why do i automatically go into a state of panic whenever i see a crowd of people around me talking and/or laughing? today in a meeting, a woman wrote a note on her paper and showed it to the man beside her. i instantly thought she wrote a note about me. why do i insist they must be talking about me? and on top of that, talking negatively about me? very egotisical, i realize. but nonetheless, it occurs on a daily basis.

i hate walking in front of a group of people. when walking into my gym, there is a long line of sweat covered, huffing exercizers with a determined look on their face...usually staring at a tv directly in front of them. however, as i quicken my pace past the tirade of athletes, i feel as though a thousand eyes are upon me watching my every move, judging me. as i awkwardly tug at my shirt, staring at the ground, i walk through the mass amounts of thick thought bubbles hovering above their heads, filling up the room to the point where i can barely see in front of me. "wow. that shirt is waaay too tight on her. yuck. she needs her highlights touched up. she definitely needs to be here. where did she get those shoes...goodwill? she must have just started going here, looks like she's been lazy lately with all that weight hangin off her." again, these thought bubbles are imaginary. they are hovering all around me, yes. but only because I'M thinking them. they are my own thoughts that i'm trying to fight through.

i put off the aura of being a bitch. this is what i'm told. i'm very shy, quiet, reserved, and guarded...until you get to know me. its hard for me to put my guard down and let a person in. i'm a perfectionist. when i do something, i want to do it all. when it comes to realtionships and being a perfectionist, i give my all. therefore i set myself up to get hurt very easily. which is why i don't put myself out there....even in the simplest form. if i'm the grocery store and i see you at the end of the aisle, and you haven't seen me yet, i will turn around and go down another aisle. my anxiety starts churning relentlessly in my stomach just thinking about walking to the opposite end of the aisle to talk to someone. i loathe small talk. i'm so awkward when it comes to small talk. i refuse to do it. larry david encompassed this situation in an episode of curb your enthusiasm when he was in a restaurant with his wife and had to use the restroom, but refused to go because there was a man he knew sitting near the door to the bathroom. he didn't want to have to deal with the awkward small talk, so he left the restaurant and used the restroom in a nearby store and came back. story of my life. i wouldn't necessarily go that far, i would probably just walk by as fast as i could and pray they wouldn't see me. but i totally related to the scene unfolding in front of me on my television.

i could go on and on with different examples of how my low self-esteem affects me on a day-to-day basis. however, i'm not the only one. this has become an epidemic in our culture. many relate it to the sexual images and re-touching of these images that we encounter everyday. dove created a whole ad campiagn based on this theory. no matter what the theory, this has become a wide-spread mental affliction. everyone i talk to is on or thinking about going on some type of anti-depressant drug because their self esteem as gotten to the lowest point where it has turned into depression. Almost all people carry this “virus.” Few are symptom-free. Typical indications of infection include anxiety, helplessness, depression and addictions to work, food, alcohol, drugs, and dysfunctional relationships (to name a few). There is an actual list of The Top 10 Signs of Low Self-Esteem . believe it or not, i am guilty of 7 out of the 10 signs. especially number 5 and 8.

this sickness i have is now moving its way from my waking life to my dreams. i have frequent recurring, frustrating dreams that have me wake up in the morning wondering what it meant and usually more tired and frustrated then when i went to bed. some people do not believe in dream intrepretations. however, it was frequently described in the bible, and it is one of the many ways God speaks to us.

one of the most recent recurring, frustrating dreams i've had is that i'm flying to paris/france and i'm running late. i drive fast to the airport, have a very hard time trying to find a parking spot to the point where i just park by a sidewalk in the parking lot and take the chance of getting a ticket, i start RUNNING to the airport but i'm running so slow. before i can run into the building i read a sign outside the doors showing where i missed the flight. i get so dissapointed and frustrated that i start crying and get ready to call my mom then the dream ends.

interpretation:
To dream that you are in Paris, symbolizes your need for romance and passion. It also suggests that you are a person of distinction.

To dream that you miss your connection flight, indicates that you are feeling helpless and trapped by some situation. You feel that you are being held back, either physically or mentally. Alternatively, the dream may also suggest that you are feeling disconnected in some aspect of your life - work, relationship or home life.

To dream that you are trying to run but cannot make your feet move as fast as you want them to, signifies lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. It may also reflect your actual state of REM paralysis while in the dream state.

the last part hit the nail on the head. since moving to new york and getting an amazing job and getting out of a horrendous abusive relationship, i've been doubting myself on everything. i feel like i can't make it on my own, that i'm horrible at my job, i'm too stupid to interpert basic commands, i can't keep up with all the demands of being able to do it all.

i've always struggled with my self-esteem. i think it goes hand in hand with always struggling with my weight. i was teased a lot in grade school and being in a verbally abusive relationship where you brought down everyday to make them feel better are all big ingredients in the makings of a low self-confidence. so, we know where it comes from. but how do we make it go away. there are a lot of websites that give you tips on how to boost your self esteem. i'm all about always working on myself and trying to be better. so, i'm gonna try some of these tips. the basic consensous is starting a whole way of thinking. whenever you have a negative thought, replace that with a postive thought. it goes along with the lifestyle of "the secret." i'll let you know how this theory of self-esteem boosting goes. personally, i think its b.s. but let's see if i'm wrong....

as a side note, here are some more interpretations into what i've been dreaming about lately:

To see a midget in your dream, suggests that you are feeling small and insignificant. Do you feel helpless in some situation or have a deflated sense of self-worth?

To see your own ghost in your dream, symbolizes aspects of yourself that you fear. This may involve a painful memory, guilt, or some repressed thoughts. Or you may be afraid of death and dying. Alternatively, ghosts are representative of something that is no longer obtainable or within reach. It indicates that you are feeling disconnected from life and society. Try to figure out what the ghosts wants or what it is looking for. Alternatively, the dream may be a calling for you to move on and abandon your outdated modes of thinking and behavior.

To dream that you are drowning, indicates that you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions or repressed issues that are coming back to haunt you. You may be proceeding too quickly in trying to discover your unconscious thoughts. You should proceed more cautiously and slowly. If you drown to death, then is refers to an emotional rebirth. If your survive the drowning, then a waking relationship or situation will ultimately survive the turmoil.

To see someone dying in your dream, signifies that your feelings for that person are dead or that a significant change/loss is occurring in your relationship with that person. Alternatively, you may want to repress that aspect of yourself that is represented by the dying person.

Ya Know What Really Cranks My Gears....

2009-10-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

i've been very sick lately. the usual virus...chills with a fever, sore throat, aches and pains, with a cough that just won't go away. this led me to my first visit to a doctor here in ny. as my palms sweated with nervousness about going to anyone other than my family doctor, and my heart beat faster each step i took toward the examination room, the RN halted me in my place exclaiming i had to be weighed first. the result was not good. i never weigh myself. mainly, because i don't believe in numbers. i don't want to get caught up in what is "right" and "wrong" with my number. i go by how healthy i feel and how my clothes fit. however, with each push of the dial went up, my anxiety and stress followed. when we finally reached the top of the mountain, like the traveler on the cliff hangers game, i was already mapping out my driving directions to the closest gym.

my new ritual is getting home and eating a small snack before i take miss daisy on a walk around a few blocks. once she's tired, i drop her off at the house, get my water bottle and head on over to my gym. once there, i tan in their stand-up tanning bed. (not for the claustrophobics...aka me) then i do 30 minutes of cardio. usually on an eliptical. i follow that up with doing two sets of 10 reps on every machine. i'm usually there for an hour and a half to two hours.
in these miniscule hours that i am there, i've observed the most idiotic behavior known to man.

1. obnoxious, waaay too musclar guys who purposely cut off the sleeves on their old 10-year reunion high school t-shirts to show off their disgustingly huge muscles slathered with tattoos. then, to top off their douche baggery, they also wear golden chains and gel their already greasy hair. this multi-talented men...no, boys, also feel the need to cat call anything with two legs. really...really??!
2. people who obviously have no time to bring an extra pair of clothes to change into, so they just work out in their dress shirts, khakis, and shoes. just go home and change!
3. people who use the stair stepper for an hour, then go home. you realize you don't have to pay a monthly fee to use stairs, right?
4. and my biggest pet peeve....girls to go to the gym in full make-up. i am not exaggerating when i say i witnessed a girl who looked like she stepped right off the pagent stage to come to the gym and work out (only on the stair stepper, no less). she even had fake eyelashes on! i'm probably just bitter because she was disgustingly gorgeous. but this still doesn't excuse her from looking mildly retarded in public.

on an unrelated note....
i HATE jon gosselin. everytime i think he can't go any lower, he does. his latest stunt is disgusting. i'm not saying kate is an angel. actually, i don't care about either of them. i never pay attention. but from the pieces of gossip i pick up from flipping through the channels at night and the lastest story we covered, i can't hold in my disgust for this situation anymore. i think i have so much anger toward him because of my own situation and feeling a connection with kate and seeing a lot of similar childish, selfish acts i myself have had to deal with. i feel like fame has gotten to both of their heads and they lost vision of the important things. they forgot they were actual people who could mess up, not constant celebrities who were unstoppable. hence, why i'm never jealous of celebrities. fame is a monster to deal with on many levels. when i hear about their trials and tribulations i just want to cry for this family and all the pain they are going through. i try to keep their children in my prayers.

another painful story i heard this morning on the radio on my way to work, is that of the union of khloe kardashian and lamar odom. again, i see myself in khloe and can relate to this whirlwind of a relationship that will soon turn into a car crash. she is yet another D-list celebrity that i could care less about. i think she has no real reason for her fame. the only reason i even know of her is because i was forced to watch her family's show on E! and i was introduced to her newest show by my friend saira. unfortuntely, i've seen most of the horribly shot and scripted "reality" show. because i myself am just getting out of a whirlwind marriage, i want to immediately fly to L.A., knock on the kardashian's door and slap her across the face and tell her to "snap out of it!" again, like her, she's struggled with being in emotionally abusive relationships and being cheated on, so she's so desperate to feel loved by someone. however, reports are now showing he proposed to his girlfriend just 2 days before he met khloe (which was only a month ago). not to mention, he already has baby mama drama, as well. add in the fact that he's a basketball player (for the greatest team in the world), so he'll be traveling and living out of hotel room for 3/4 of the year. this is the perfect recipe for relationship disaster. ugh. why get yourself into something like this? i hope that i'm wrong. however, when it DOES crash and burn, hopefully she'll learn the tough lesson, be supported and loved by her family and friends, and come out of it a stronger person to use her situation to help others.

All the World's a Stage, and all the Men and Women Merely Players

2009-09-24T12:11:00.000-07:00

As of last night i got my first guest since moving to NY. my best friend, leah, flew into JFK airport round 8 last night. i rode the train into jamaica to meet up with her then we rode back to my place together. as we speak, i'm at work while she's lounging around my apartment, so i'm excited to leave a bit early and actually have someone to hang out with when i get home. tomorrow i plan on leaving work a bit early as well, so we can go into the city for the night. we found a rooftop cocktail bar downtown that we want to check out. so very "sex and the city", it was a must. saturday we plan on spending the day in the city, going to central park, little italy, and the met. sunday might bring us to the beach, depending on the weather. she leaves early monday morning, back to pittsburgh. then my life of seclusion continues.

leah and i clicked immediately when we met through our sorority. we've been best friends since that fateful day three years ago. already, we have been through so many phases of our lives. we've graduated college, moved away, got married, started our first full-time jobs, began paying our own bills, etc. we've had our dry spells of communication, however, we always start right back up where we left off. we both realize how hard it is to keep up a relationship, especially a far distance one, so we strive to make the extra effort. we're on the same page. however, this doesn't always apply to other relationships.

i would consider myself emotionally clingy. it's very hard for me to get close to someone. but once i'm there, it's almost impossible for me to give up the relationship. something very shady has to go down for me to call it quits. there have even been instances where i have gotten screwed over multiple times, but i kept trying harder to make the relationship work because it breaks my heart for someone to fall out of my life. it was and still is a hard lesson to learn that people come in and out of your life, that they won't always be there.

this seemed to be most evident when i was in college. it seemed that i had a new group of friends every semester. there would be a new group that you would have to do class projects with, have lunch with between the same classes, go to the same events, etc. i would get so close and share so much with this group of people for weeks. then, suddenly, you all have new schedules. none of which involve each other. how can you share so much with a person for weeks, then move on? it's hard to realize that some people are only meant to make an appearance in your plot line of life. not everyone is a main character.

as each scene changes in my play, more characters are introduced, and more bow out. i'm sure when the lights dim and the curtain finally closes, we'll finally understand the meaning behind each plot twist, why this person wasn't meant to have more lines, and why we kept bringing back the villian when we knew better. until then, i'll just enjoy the view from the stage....

She said, "Let there be a Blog"...and there was

2009-09-20T15:54:00.000-07:00

I grew up in church my whole life. I feel like i've seen it all, done it all, heard it all (almost).

having said that, i am a christian.

now with that, there usually comes a aura of judgement.

"well, you must be perfect."

"she think she's perfect, and better than everyone else."

"she's judgmental."

i'm here to prove all of that wrong. i wanted to create this blog to share my ups and downs. to express my constant battle between the spirit and the flesh. to show everyone that christians are NOT perfect, far from it, actually. in most cases, we're usually worst than those of the world. we come in the name of christ, yet we judge and stab others in the back to show just how holy we are. it's disgusting and i'm ashamed to be associated with those type of religious people. however, i think as christians, some of us feel the need to be perfect and we hate on ourselves when we mess up, especially in front of others, and become bad witnesses for christ. but this is an everyday occurrence. we can't focus on our stumbles. we can only examine them, try to learn from them, and move on. easier said than done, i realize.

i want to expose myself and share my imperfections. i want you to hear the real thoughts, the unfiltered opinions, and how i've messed up, but keep trucking on, trying to live my life for christ with every mistake that i make. i'm not a perfect christian. i mess up A LOT. i have A LOT of growing to do. i feel i'm just a fetus in christ. i say a lot of things that offend people, i am a fan of a lot of wordly things. i have my good days and my bad days. i have my self-esteem issues, and my just flat out messed up issues. there are a lot of things wrong with me. i want the world to see that. i want people to read and say, "wow, i thought i was the only one who thought like that!" and realize that we're all very much the same. and hopefully, through all of this we can all grow and learn from each other.....